Sticky buns are good therapy...even if I can't eat them!

Sticky buns (my grandmother's recipe and something we have had every Christmas I can remember) are very therapeutic. They are time-consuming, messy, and well, sticky! But there is something very comforting in the routine of scalding the milk, mixing each step and watching/waiting for them to rise. And the smell?  Mmmmm...not much smells better. My family gets frustrated, since I make them for others BEFORE I make ours on Christmas Eve day. Conversations go something like:  "ANY left for us this time?!?!"  "No, not til Christmas morning."  "MOM!"  But they are worth waiting for. And I am not making nearly as many as I usually do this year, for obvious reasons.  Whatever I want to get done, I need to do in the morning. Afternoons and evenings I just slow down. So, the last 2 mornings have found me awake by 'early' and starting a batch around 6 or so. Coffee with Megan while it is going through the first rising, and the house smelling incredible by 10.

My last 2 days have been more 'normal', with some side effects but not as many or as pronounced. My energy level has been better, so I have felt more productive, but still not where I usually am this time of year. That's okay. This time of year is not about my being productive. It certainly helps get things wrapped, baked, etc. BUT, Jesus is the focus and I see that more this year than any other.

Thankful thoughts:

• The smell of sticky buns baking.
• A visit from a friend of Megan's - so nice to catch up!
• Girls that are protective and take care of me.  :)
• Being able to have slow-paced days
• Only one doctor visit this week!
• Dealing with expansions more easily...
• Clean carpets - Bailey got into chocolate...alot of it...Stanley Steemer is a wonderful company. 'Nuf said.
• Random texts from random people just to check in.
• Good mornings...feels good to get some things done.

These verses below have long been some of my favorites. They were used in our wedding, and seem to apply and encourage in so many circumstances. I've been told I'm doing great, that I am an encouragement and so strong...thank you from many of you who have said those things or variations of them. And I am so thankful that I have been an encouragement to some! I don't feel strong. There are times I feel scared, overwhelmed, discouraged, and all those dark, discouraging things. There are even times that I still can't even believe we are talking about cancer and I am already through surgery and into chemo. And I know that doesn't mean I'm weak...just painfully human. But, somehow in the midst of this, I am gaining a better understanding of the things mentioned in these verses...how important it is to be rooted in Him and His truth. To have power - from HIM - with all the saints (SO many are praying!). That knowing what is often in my heart and mind cannot simply disappear by 'thinking positive thoughts' and 'plowing through'...those do need to be done, but only when wrapped in the knowledge of His never-ending love and mercy. If He chooses to use this to teach me more about how much I need Him in ways I never imagined, then I am thankful that He never lets anything go to waste. When I feel discouraged, or scared, or misshapen or whatever, He brings to mind that His love is wider, longer, higher, and deeper than any tumor or steroid or side effect or expansion. And I am comforted. He is the Strong One, not me.

Ephesians 3.16-21
I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God. Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen.

So, way back in the beginning of this, I promised I wouldn't be too long or preach. Apparently, I lied. Sorry!

Love to you all.
Andi