1 more, just one more...

It sounds easy, just one more, but I can hardly wait to be home tomorrow. Sure, there are 4 more of a different drug after this...then, radiation...but I'm not going there yet. One thing at a time. And this one thing is the last of a fairly harsh series of treatments. I know pretty much what the next 2 weeks will look like, good and bad. And then, we wait and see what the next round brings...

This whole journey has been a waiting game, and that is probably the biggest lesson I have learned. Waiting on the Lord, waiting to sleep, waiting for answers, waiting for a procedure, waiting to see how my body reacts to chemo...still many unknowns along the way as we move forward. And I know it can't compare to what many deal with.  But, yet again, I take great comfort in knowing a God Who is not surprised by ANY of this. He knew, He allowed it, and He is loving me and walking me through it - not because He is some big nasty who likes to punish or tease us. But, because we live in a fallen world, and He knows it. He redeems even difficult circumstances like this to be full of encouragement, growth, new and strengthened relationships, so many things.  Things I may have missed if I wasn't in the midst of this right now.

So, while I am weary right now, I won't be someday - here or heavenbound, I will not ALWAYS be in this situation. And I pray that I won't forget what I am learning on the way. I want these lessons to make me more like my Savior...how that is going to happen remains to be seen! More patient? I could use that. More compassionate, understanding, wise, and the list goes on. We all have growing to do, don't we?

Thankful thoughts:

• My birdfeeder - happily installed where I can see it (as long as I have glasses on) from bedroom or kitchen. Simple pleasures.
• My sister - bringing dinner on Sunday night, staying to enjoy it with us and folding laundry for me.
• My new bathrobe...long and gray. Buddy tells me I look like I belong in the Matrix movie!
• 5 days free of anti-nausea meds! Very nice
• The beauty of the snow with no icy layer...at least not here!
• My daughters - always a blessing
• Good conversation with Bobby tonight just catching up.
• Hearing the laughter of kids - from the quiet of my room!

Hope you are all safe and warm tonight. Thanks, as always for reading this. I'm a bit cross-eyed tonight, so not sure it made sense!

This thought...

Psalm 40:11 - "Lord, don't hold back your tender mercies from me. My only hope is in your unfailing love and faithfulness."

Psalm 103 reminds us that He forgives ALL our sins, heals my diseases, ransoms me from death and destruction, surrounds me with loving-kindness and compassion, satisfies my desires so I am renewed**...so many wonderful promises...of COURSE I can handle tomorrow! I'm not doing it alone.

(** This thought taken from "Grace For Each Hour" by Mary Nelson)