Feeling the weight of the journey...

It's been awhile, I know, and I am sorry.  I have been slowly getting back into life, and find that post-chemo is better than being in the middle of it, but not without its issues either!  Side effects are definitely slowing down, but I still have some neuropathy in my hands and feet, with frequent 'shocks' down my arms and legs. The shocks aren't painful but distracting. My feet, however, hurt more than I expected and there is some swelling. I will be calling the doctor tomorrow about that since it is a more recent development. I guess what I mean by the title of this entry is that I am realizing that the journey is longer than I expected, and there is much more learning and waiting ahead. Radiation starts in a couple weeks, and after that, I begin a daily pill that I believe I will be on potentially for 5 years! It has its own set of side effects that I wasn't aware of but that your body adapts to. Plus the thought of genetic counseling that I think I mentioned before...just all longer than I expected.


It has felt good to be back to more normal things on most days, and overall, I am much better. Just want to hurry it along! But I can't. My surgeon was the first actual physician that told me it would be up to 6 months before I felt like myself...that is what I have heard from those that experience it, but not always what I have heard from my docs since it is so different for everyone. So...we will see what this body does!


Today's "Jesus Calling" was perfect, as it so often is:

Trust Me, and don't be afraid. Many things feel out of control. Your routines are not running smoothly. You tend to feel more secure when your life is predictable. Let me lead you to the rock that is higher than you and your circumstances. take refuge in the shelter of My wings, where you are absolutely secure.

I needed to be reminded that I am safe and secure, certainly NOT because of my circumstances, but because HE who saved me is so much bigger than anything I deal with.

Isaiah 12:2

Surely God is my salvation; I will trust and not be afraid. The LORD, the LORD himself, is my strength and my defense, he has become my salvation.”

Psalm 61:2-4

From the ends of the earth I call to you, I call as my heart grows faint; lead me to the rock that is higher than I. For you have been my refuge, a strong tower against the foe. I long to dwell in your tent forever and take refuge in the shelter of your wings.

Thankful thoughts:

• Flowers from distant friends to celebrate my end of chemo.  They are beautiful!
• Warm weather - quite a treat!
• A very devoted puppy...goes wherever I go and sits at my feet whenever I let her. A good little protector.
• Wonderful high school kids in our co-op...some were here on Friday and just fun to have around. Have always loved high school kids...
• Diet White Tea Peach...goes down easy and so refreshing! I love water, but it's nice to have something different once in a while!

Have a blessed week. I have 2 doctor appts this week, Wednesday and Friday. NOTHING next week!  Yay!


Andi