Here goes nothin'...

So, I am completely new at this whole blog thing and not one to write my every thought. (Journaling has eluded me off and on for years...) However, I have been exceedingly blessed by an abundance of friends and a dear family, who would like to be kept up to speed on what is happening in my life at the moment.  The lack of a personal touch doesn't appeal to me, but not missing someone does!  Please feel free to share this blog name with anyone you know who knows me and would be interested in keeping up with my journey through the uncharted waters of breast cancer. The Lord has already taught me much about patience, how He paves the way, His provision of simple, everyday needs, and constant evidence of His grace and mercy in my life. It is very humbling...


A brief synopsis of the last month and a half...
August 26 - Diagnostic mammogram showing lumps in both breasts.
September 9 - Meet with surgeon at Paoli Hospital. Not concerned since lumps present as cysts, but schedule biopsies to be sure. (Thank you , sister/nurse Padge!)
September 21 - biopsies of both breasts...results on the 26th, showing left side a fibrous cyst. Right side is ILC, or Invasive Lobular Carcinoma...I was standing in the Walmart checkout line when I got her call. (She thinks I will never shop at Walmart again...I told her there is nowhere else to shop! I have no choice!)
September 28 - Meet with surgeon again to review biopsies in detail. Plan tests. Learn that this cancer is not visible in a mammogram. Must have an MRI, since it 'hides' in dense breast tissue  (sneaky little thing!).
October 4 - Bone scan, CAT scan, MRI done.  Found nothing anywhere else in my body - YAY!  However, MRI seems to indicate another spot on my right breast and 2 on my left.


After talking through things with my surgeon, reading up on this particular type of cancer and talking with several others who have had the same type of cancer, the recommendation is to proceed with a double mastectomy. Though this is not an aggressive cancer, it is very difficult to track, usually does end up in both breasts and usually recurs. I am meeting a plastic surgeon tomorrow, (Monday, October 17) and seeking a second opinion with an oncologist - that will hopefully happen this week.  We would not know about any further treatment until after surgery.


How am I doing?  That is the question of the day!  I am doing pretty well. I'd be lying if I said I was fine, this is a cake-walk.  However, this is putting 'feet to my faith', so to speak.  The doctor told me, "This is simply a blip on your lifescreen.  You'll be fine. "  While I do believe that, my first reaction was, "Excuse me, but this is MY lifescreen and IT'S A PRETTY BIG BLIP!!" Daily, I am having to trust, wait for answers, seek answers and live in a state of not knowing.  I can't begin to tell you all how much your cards, notes, calls, etc have meant to me already and I am saving every one of them. If I seem a little detached, that means I probably am. If I forget to say a thank you, please forgive...To some degree, I am trying to live life normally until I know more. ..I actually am being very productive, keeping busy, almost 'nesting' all over again. I appreciate all the inquiries, yet find crowds very tiring - this from someone who is not known for being shy!


Please don't take offense at my distance at times. I am just processing a lot. For the most part, I really am okay with what is ahead. It is not my nature to question the Lord about "Why?", nor am I angry. Just trying to do the next right thing. I have no idea how I will handle the surgery and what comes after. But, I know I have a loving family who has been incredible. And friends already vying for a spot to bring dinner! Such a blessing...and I have a God Who is bigger than all of this put together.


Things I am already thankful for:

• My small group ladies - who showed up at my house, with CHOCOLATE, within 3 hours of my diagnosis to pray and encourage.  And they knew just when to leave.
• Meals already brought on particularly long days.
• Many cards and notes, some from unexpected folks - such pleasant surprises and such a blessing
• SO MANY HUGS!
• A sister who is loving, knowledgeable, available and fun to be with!
• A husband who is supportive, attentive and makes me laugh
• A husband who also likes to Christmas shop!  :)
• Daughters who take care of so much of me - little things like candles lit, dishes done, cards left, hugs and kisses
• A son who loves, prays and cares from a distance - and wears pink tape for football.
• Parents who pray, love and are available.
• Co-workers who are also friends and prayer warriors
• Field hockey teams that wear pink in my honor....thank you, Rachel Larson and Kristen.
• Old friends, reconnected
• New friends, new, unexpected connections
• A new appreciation for PINK!
• Women willing to share their stories and situations to offer wisdom and guidance from their personal experience - I have found a whole new group of sisters and they are priceless.
• Paoli Hospital's staff - kind, considerate, gracious - they have been trained well to handle situations like this
• The surgeon I have met with so far. Laid back, but far from disinterested. Thorough, reasonable, balanced, direct, personal enough. I like her more every time we chat.

So that is enough for now. I promise most entries won't be this long. Your reading of this is greatly appreciated, and even more so are your prayers - for me, my family and my folks.  I believe my Mom is having a harder time in some ways than I am with all this, and I am saddened that I can't be more available to them right now. And it is very strange to say 'I' so much! As I told my small group ladies the first night they came over, one of the things that bothers me?  I don't like being interrupted!  I like doing what I do! There may be a lesson in there somewhere...hmmmm.